for raising a generation of children that talk funny. in twenty years we'll be inundated with speech that even barbara walters would have to correct. simple questions will go from a pattern of "question"-"answer" to "question"-"what!?"-"repeat question with enunciation"-"oh! (giggle)...answer"
for showing kids that self-respect and dignity are things of the past. after running around, chasing the same rabbit for 20 years, you'd think he'd give up. granted, he does come close a few times...even having him in a pot with carrots and on the stove....but every time bugs manages to escape his grasp. it's a big tease, really. but elmer doesn't move on to other rabbits, or even give up on hunting. while his determination may be admired, his making a fool of himself repeatedly isn't. he often ends up the butt of the rabbit's jokes, and even finds himself in the same pot on the stove with the carrots. for shame, fudd!
for letting our nation's children think that plaid goes with everything. sure, it looks cute when you're hunting, and helps from getting shot by most people that realize that wildlife doesn't wear plaid....but there are other things out there! accessorize! throw something together that will look cute. maybe meet a nice girl and forget that silly rabbit!
for not addressing the obvious. ok, it may not be anyone's business really. but you're a public figure now, and people do wonder. i mean seriously, how long do you really expect people to look at a man with a head half as big as the rest of his body and not notice? is everything ok? are you seeing a doctor? we are concerned, fudd. that's all. it's because we care.
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