Heartbreak (warning: wallowing in self pity allowed in this thread)

**zenbooty** · 12-14-2002, 12:03 PM

So I get home last night at 5:00 AM, and lie in bed 'till 8:00 staring at the ceiling, feeling my chest heave in and out, my throat tightening, my head racing, my palms sweating, my eyes clenched shut, and a slow burning throughout. Then I finally slept until noon.

Why must I always give my heart to the ones who care for it least?

(I really do know, actually. Its because in those crazy and desperate moments of sky high infatuation and the plummeting descent into misery, we almost never feel more REAL and ALIVE.

)

**whitak24** · 12-14-2002, 12:21 PM

damn. that sucks.

i'm sorry dude.

**aznkiddo** · 12-28-2002, 02:34 AM

sorry dood.. try to take it one spet at the time

**Ladogaboy** · 12-28-2002, 10:06 AM

Was the love mutual?

**nickel** · 12-28-2002, 10:12 AM

love stinks, hurts, and can be the best and the worst feeling in the world

i feel for you zen

**aznkiddo** · 12-28-2002, 11:53 AM

yup..been where it stinks n where its heaven

**Leebo** · 12-28-2002, 08:48 PM

Dude, that totally sucks

I feel yah. Just try to trick it out and hold out till you are absolutely sure. Second guess every infatuation and every incling of emotion you may feel towards another "significant other".

In other words, try to guard your heart to prevent it from happening again.

**aznkiddo** · 12-28-2002, 11:09 PM

don't hold your heart.. keep an open mind, keep some defenses up, but not all of them...after all love is a wonderful feeling and something that u might want to exeprience again sometime.. when your ready... just get over this now and find your real true love later.....

**Hunny** · 01-09-2003, 12:41 PM

Originally posted by zenbooty
So I get home last night at 5:00 AM, and lie in bed 'till 8:00 staring at the ceiling, feeling my chest heave in and out, my throat tightening, my head racing, my palms sweating, my eyes clenched shut, and a slow burning throughout. Then I finally slept until noon.

Why must I always give my heart to the ones who care for it least?

(I really do know, actually. Its because in those crazy and desperate moments of sky high infatuation and the plummeting descent into misery, we almost never feel more REAL and ALIVE. )

awwwwwww zen...you need major internet hugs right now...here..allow me {{{zen}}}

As far as I can tell..those feelings are way too familiar, and yup, the feeling sucks... Only words of wisdom I can share are these...which won't help you feel better...but something to think about later on when your life does get back on track, and it will..count on it...we've all been there...Time does really help to heal ... Everything does happen for a reason...And one day you'll meet someone who you'll make happy and them you...and the feelings will be mutual..and it will be all good...you'll see....
So for now...don't curl up and sleep away your life because we all know well enough thats too easy to do when you're down...Keep yourself busy...busy...busy

By the way...not that it matters..but how old are you?

I always have to ask these questions...sorry...

**Leebo** · 01-09-2003, 09:44 PM

I noticed that I posted on the 28th, about what like one and a half weeks ago and low and behold, I am feeling the same way... great... Hey man... You're not alone in this boat and You can get through it. As will I.

**zenbooty** · 01-10-2003, 05:49 AM

Originally posted by Hunny
By the way...not that it matters..but how old are you?
I always have to ask these questions...sorry...

28. Yeah, I know. Old enough to know better. I've always had a soft spot for the sweet but damaged girls, though. Even when I know they're no good for me. Too noble for my own good, I am sometimes.

**iluvbukaki** · 01-12-2003, 09:49 PM

One day you'll look back and say 'god damn how did I let
this girl have the upper hand'. You'll realize that she (nor
anyone else you've dated or ever will) is not a goddess, and
that all the pain you feel right now is self-created. Nobody
but you makes yourself weak enough to feel that way. Some
day you'll figure this out and learn to not care about this
sort of thing.

Peace

- iluvbukaki

**zenbooty** · 01-13-2003, 05:53 AM

Originally posted by iluvbukaki
One day you'll look back and say 'god damn how did I let
this girl have the upper hand'. You'll realize that she (nor
anyone else you've dated or ever will) is not a goddess, and
that all the pain you feel right now is self-created. Nobody
but you makes yourself weak enough to feel that way. Some
day you'll figure this out and learn to not care about this
sort of thing.

Peace

- iluvbukaki

No, no, no. I understand where you're coming from, but if you harden yourself like that (and I have in the past) you only seal yourself off from the possibilities of real joy and true love. No, to be strong means to allow yourself to be vulnerable. Pain is a necessary part of life. To fear it is to fear your own nature, which isn't very healthy.

And there's more to the situation then what you may be assuming, jusging by your post. Stuff I really don't want to get into and air out here, however.

Feeling much better these days, btw. Thaks to all who cared enough to respond.

**iluvbukaki** · 01-13-2003, 08:21 PM

Originally posted by zenbooty

No, no, no. I understand where you're coming from, but if you harden yourself like that (and I have in the past) you only seal yourself off from the possibilities of real joy and true love. No, to be strong means to allow yourself to be vulnerable. Pain is a necessary part of life. To fear it is to fear your own nature, which isn't very healthy.

And there's more to the situation then what you may be assuming, jusging by your post. Stuff I really don't want to get into and air out here, however.

Feeling much better these days, btw. Thaks to all who cared enough to respond.

Why is it that people believe in things that are masochistic like
this? Why feel pain if you don't need to? I used to, but I don't get
it anymore.