Ok so today we have our office Christmas party..
here's the problem. My boss-the freakishly Mormon guy set the rules up for our secret santas about a month or so ago..(ok besides being mormon,he's a total fem, married-but acts flamingly queer-keep this in mind for later in the post)..he set a limit at 100 dollars MAX because last year some gifts got TOTALLY out of hand (one of the guys gave his secret santa a two day skiing pass that totaled out at around 400 bucks (that included room/board/rental/dinner/lift tickets etc).....ok..so here's what happened..
We get to the party-which we had upstairs in one of the board rooms-we all chipped in for the food which was supposed to be poached salmon,prime rib,or some funky kind of tropical stuffed chicken breast,snacks,and all the fixins..the seafood bar (chilled shrimp,oysters,clams on the half shell,sushi was supposed to be available for the first hour...according the the person in charge of food-everything was all set for today..because of religious differences within the staff-there was not going to be any alcohol.
we payed for a DJ for 3 hours, and a party planner to come in and do the decorations etc..was SUPPOSED TO BE A NICE EVENT..
anyway..so we are all standing around waiting for the cold seafood-when the caterer comes out and tells us that his shipment of shrimp still hadn't arrived-grrr-and that he would put it out as soon as it gets there..those wanting oysters(puke) and clams could help themselves..(that was only the fat guy from payroll, and two of the old retirees that come back for the event..well we are standing around, shooting the sh|t with each other-when the caterer says..ladies and gents-dinner is now being served (we had to write our menu choice on cards and leave them at our places-)
so we sit down to dinner-the waiter comes out and brings BBQ chicken,sausage and peppers, and Prime Rib FAMILY STYLE on platters and slaps it down on the table.....Where's the salmon we ask-and what is with the BBQ?????...caterer gives us the explanation that the caribean chicken was not available and that this was the sub, and that the sausage and peppers is to cover the Salmon that has not arrived with the shrimp order..GRRRRRR AGAIN..of course by now everyone is bitching..and HUNGry..we all complain to the woman who organized the party-and inquired as to what the hell was up with this caterer-and get this..she says..WELL THE CATERER WE WANTED WASN'T AVAILABLE..so my SISTER IN LAW DECIDED to help out by cooking the food...and the guy who was "acting caterer" was her brother!.OMG I WAS SO PISSED. As was everyone else,we all demanded our money back as we each kicked in 35 dollars for the dinners which was to include the unlimited BIG SHRIMP along with our meal and the other trimmings and snacks..this woman says..WELL I ALREADY PAID JANET (her sister in law) for cooking, and I'm not asking her for the money..and she "hmph-ed" off..
Now the best part..everyone is doing the secret santa exchange-and they get to the person that my boss had..she opens up the box and finds a TREASURE TROVE of antique german ornaments-each one carefully hand wrapped in tissue paper..there had to be at LEAST a dozen or more..and we aren't talking about cheap broken ornaments-this guy MUST HAVE EASILY spent 500 bucks on these things-he says..I couldn't resist because I know you love christmas (ok I was jealous-and I NEEDED THOSE ORNAMENTS FOR MY COLLECTION-double grrr grrrr)..I was like HEY I thought you set a LIMIT this year-and he says..well, I know that Carey LOVES SANTAS and when I saw these at the antique mall I just HAD to get them (this woman is his OFFICE PET)..I gave my secret santa a basket full of aroma therapy candles,air fragrances,bath and body oils,and included 4 one hour sessions with a massage therapist (A good friend who traded me the gift cards for a very very large try of cookies for her office)..I also included a nice fleece blanket. Total cost-around 80 bucks. Everyone is opening gifts that fell into the same category as mine..and everyone is THRILLED with their gifts..
Now the very worst part-my boss-the freakisly femmy mormon guy gets handed his gift bag-and inside he finds....3 MENS WHITE HANKERCHIEFS!
WITH THE PRICETAG STILL stuck on the inside of the box..(15 dollars)-AND IT WAS FROM THE WOMAN HE SPENT ALL THE BUCKS ON..he looks at her and says..OH, how nice. And turns around and walks away-goes to his office and proceeds to have a crying jag worse than any woman i've ever seen....Man it was awful-the guy isn't the coolest guy around, nor does he have a ton of friends in the office because after all he is our boss, but HANKIES? omg..after he walked out of the room we all ganged up on this woman and had the biggest bitch session she would ever encounter-we reminded her that when the county layoffs came around-he saved her ass bigtime saying she was "crucial personel"..(HA)..and this big ass gift he gives her and all she can buy him is HANKIES...her reply..Oh, I didn't buy them, my dad gave them to me because I spent all of my last paycheck at the TANNING SALON!(which btw is HIDEOUSLY BROWN)..someone suggested that she offer to give him back the ornaments-and she said NO WAY..she was going to see if she could put them on EBAY and make some money off of them..
The Dilemna now stands at this..do the rest of us-pitch in and get our boss a halfway decent gift(he likes opera so we thought about a pass for him and his wife at the local opera house)to appease the situation-or do we just let things fester in the office now that he was slighted big time..and when is the appropriate time to kick the crap out of miss Miami? Thanks-