One of my best friends is kinda stalking his ex-girlfriend. I don't think he is 'cut off her head' type stalking, but they are definitly broken up and he is definitly calling her like 200 times a day and following her around all day. Seems weird to me, and now he is trying to get me involved and I'm doing my best to avoid the both of them. This is whack. Opinions?
I think if my friend was trying to get me involved....I would stop him/her. That's kinda scary.....
potato gun + marshmallow gun = FLAMING MARSHMALLOWS OF DOOM!!!!!
-Welfareloser
4/13/05
Time to switch to AMD now I guess... (just kidding... )
-Darkfury
5/23/05
I don't think this'll stop anything though - the better you idiot-proof a system, the more impressive the idiot becomes.
-ShawnLee
5/30/08
I have a good friend in a very similar situation, he is a wreck. I called me one night and wanted me to go with him to her place of employment to see what she was up to. Immediately red flags went up in my head, I gently brought up the stocking issue and gently declined. Now that I think of it I haven't heard from him since and he is now bugging my other friend more.
Canta, if I were you, I'd pobably go talk to her... alone. She needs to know what's up, and she might want to look into getting a restraining order.
It is not enough to merely touch the face of god; you also must open your eyes so that you may see your palm.
well, i dunno if i quite agree with ladogaboy, at least not at this point... if he IS one of your best friends, canta, talk to the fool. you guys should be close enough that you can put it to him straight and knock some sense into him; do whatever you can for him, since he is your friend.
and as far as the girl's concerned, is she a good friend of yours too? if not, which i'm assuming is the case, i say leave her out of it. if you go telling her that her ex is stalking her, she might freak out and actually do something drastic like get a restraining order against him, which i don't think is necessary unless your pal actually is psycho. you need to stick with convincing your friend to forget about her and get on with his life; he's just having a slightly more severe episode of what everyone goes thru when a serious relationship ends. that is, of course, unless you really think your friend has some genuine serious psychological things goin on...
"I can't believe you can eat that; it looks like abortion." - Augusta, of the Tard-Blog
Sit the boy down and talk to him... Seems like he's not over her and is the jealous possessive type...
He is following and calling her to make sure she doesn't get a new boyfriend im' guessing. So yeah... talk to him then talk to her.
G'luck
oHai!
I dont know bout you, but scaring the sh*t out of someone is still a good way to teach someone.
My suggestion is to get someone with a deep voice to scare your stalker friend. Get the deep voice person to say he is a Private investigator hired by his exgirlfriend and that he needs to stop stalking her or the cops will get involved, it would scare the crap out of him. This is not the best idea if you dont mind confronting or if your friend is physical and would possibly go on a rage on the girl. This is basically a last ditch effort.
I'm not sure if that works, from watching what my friend is going through he is oblivious to the fact he is doing something wrong and he isn't taking no for an answer. It may be just time to knock some sense into him.Originally posted by look_ma
I dont know bout you, but scaring the sh*t out of someone is still a good way to teach someone.
My suggestion is to get someone with a deep voice to scare your stalker friend. Get the deep voice person to say he is a Private investigator hired by his exgirlfriend and that he needs to stop stalking her or the cops will get involved, it would scare the crap out of him. This is not the best idea if you dont mind confronting or if your friend is physical and would possibly go on a rage on the girl. This is basically a last ditch effort.
Take the guy out and get him drunk. Then maybe go off to the nudie bar. As a friend you need to help him grieve over his lost relationship and get closure. Everytime he brings up the old girl tell him that that cheese is old and moldy. Use phrases like she's not worth your time etc. Tell him it is time to find something new. There is plenty more ripe fruit on the girl tree ready for his pickin'. Remember, nothing helps you forget old booty better then new booty.
:monkey:
There are stalking laws around here. I know of a fella who was driving past his ex-wife's house all of the time and ended up in jail. The guy was a nut, though.
I'll be big and honest and open for a moment and admit that I too once had this problem years ago, and would probably have had a restraining order put on me if the girl didn't have other avenues to explore through the school we both attended. When your heartbroken and naive and new to love the idea of putting that love to rest and moving on can be damn near impossible. Your friend needs you to make it plain that the path he's going down is going to end badly. Badly for him, badly for her, and badly for anyone else involved. His actions will not win her back, but only scare her away. He cannot control her will, nor hold her against it. Get him to move on, introduce him to other girlfriends, or better yet just hire a decent escort to have a little "encounter" with him when he's not suspecting it at a bar or other place he likes to socialize. It will do wonders for his confidence and help him forget about love lost. As Dash Rip Rock put it so eloquently, "I need a girl to help me shake THAT girl."
Don't get the stalked girl involved, as this should not have to be her problem, and I guarantee any solution she comes up with will not have his best interests in mind. Be as blunt as you have to with the guy, and let him know he is behaving badly, and is perceived as such by everyone who knows him except for him. He will do his damndest to misread and misinterpret your statements (and anything the girl says, as well) to fit into his currently off-kilter view of things. Be persistent until you get through to him.
Lastly, teach him one of the most important lessons of dealing with love as a man: After breaking up, women, often even when dumped, get over it QUICKLY and COMPLETELY. But men have a little place in their heart forever for every girl they ever get emotionally involved with. That can be both a strength and a weakness.
Common sense is what tells you the Earth is flat.
the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else...Originally posted by zenbooty
As Dash Rip Rock put it so eloquently, "I need a girl to help me shake THAT girl."
(i don't really believe in that, by the way)
"I can't believe you can eat that; it looks like abortion." - Augusta, of the Tard-Blog
Not really, the best way to get over someone is to get ON TOP OF someone else...Originally posted by Freelance Superhero
the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else...
(i don't really believe in that, by the way)
(i really believe in that, by the way)
:monkey:
Yah he needs to find someone else or a hobby. Drinks and strip club. That's what the strip clubs are there for right guys? Without them can you imagine all the heartbroken guys in the world obessing needlessly over a girl that may not be the one?
Cheers to strip clubs and boobies. They thread and needle the ripped seams of our broken hearts. Long live strip club!!
Seriously...get his mind off it before it gets out of hand. Nip it in the bud and best of luck to ya.
And free admission...Originally posted by mcs328
Long live strip club!!
Example of how stalking gets seriously out of hand...
http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/20...-stalker_x.htm
Authorities: GPS system used to stalk woman
KENOSHA, Wis. (AP) — A man was charged Monday with stalking his former live-in girlfriend with help from a high-tech homing device placed under the hood of her car.
Paul Seidler, 42, was arrested during the weekend. On Monday, he was charged with stalking, burglary, second-degree reckless endangerment and disorderly conduct, and ordered held on $50,000 bail.
According to a criminal complaint, Connie Adams asked Seidler to move out of her apartment Oct. 25 after a three-year relationship. Prosecutors say he immediately began following her, including when she ran errands and went to work.
Investigators checked under the hood of Adams' vehicle and found a Global Positioning System that uses satellite and digital cellular technology to pinpoint a target's location.
Seidler's attorney did not return a telephone call Monday seeking comment.
A preliminary hearing was set Jan. 8.
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