No REALLY means NO...even right when you're about to.......

[attgig]

http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/07/30/ra....ap/index.html

Rape law permits changing mind during sex act
Illinois law believed to be first of its kind in the country
Wednesday, July 30, 2003 Posted: 10:10 AM EDT (1410 GMT)


SPRINGFIELD, Illinois (AP) -- A new rape law in Illinois attempts to clarify the issue of consent by emphasizing that people can change their mind while having sex.

Under the law, if someone says "no" at any time the other person must stop or it becomes rape. The National Crime Victim Law Institute said it believed the law is the first of its kind in the country.

Lyn Schollett, general counsel for the Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault, said the law was important to make it clear to victims, offenders, prosecutors and juries that people have the right to halt sexual activity at any time.

"I think it will empower prosecutors in charging cases where the victim and the offender have a sexual history," she said.

But the director of the Victim Advocacy & Research Group in Boston said it would be hard to imagine courts not upholding a woman's right to withdraw consent.

"To me, it's demeaning," Wendy Murphy said. "It's like the old saying: 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it.' I don't think it was broke."

The law was inspired by a California case involving two 17-year-olds who had sex at a party. The girl changed her mind about having sex, but the boy did not stop immediately.

He was charged with rape, and it took years for the courts to decide that he could be found guilty under California law. The California Supreme Court ruled in January that a man can be convicted if a woman first consents but later asks him to stop.

Lawmakers said they wanted to avoid the same kind of long legal battle in Illinois. Gov. Rod Blagojevich signed the law Friday but did not announce it until Monday.

if this was in colorado, it would throw a huge twist to the Kobe case.

[ufcrusher]

I actually mentioned the original case in some thread. I dont recall which one though, might have been the Kobe Bryant one.

[WhiskeyPapa]

Here's a novel idea: Instead of waiting until she says "yes", wait until she says "I do"!

[topane]

Do you at least get a couple of thrusts for her to think about it?

[ski]

Wish they would've had this in Virginia a few months ago

goes unnoticed far too often (one of the resources I used when it happened... it'll surprise you)

[hapoo]

I think thats bull****. I mean, if i sign a contract with someone i can't just go rip it up mid term can i? I'm sure the people who wrote this had the best intentions in mind, but it just sounds like one of those laws that will be abused like crazy.

[zenbooty]

Originally posted by kb0wwp
Here's a novel idea: Instead of waiting until she says "yes", wait until she says "I do"!

I think personally that is a horrible idea. I hate to see marriages break up over sexual incompatibility.

[mcs328]

Sigh...I see the good intention but it's going to be hard to prove I guess. How much time is immediately? I think half the people would stop and go "say again?" or something. So if you're still "in" and not "thrusting" it's rape? The other scenario is he/she says stop and you fling him/her off as fast as you can. There's just going to be so much hair splitting.

[cheapie]

Originally posted by zenbooty
I think personally that is a horrible idea. I hate to see marriages break up over sexual incompatibility.

most marriages break up because of financial stress , not sexual incompatibility. basing your marriage decision on sexual compatitibility will be hard to justify when your spouse gets older, a little saggier, and a new model becomes available. instead of being committed to love her and improve the relationship, you'll say, "i don't like her as well in the sack so...NEXT!!!"

if anything, couples should have to go to a basic financial management class before they tie the knot. that will prob. save more relationships than anything else.

[Dirty Sanchez]

Originally posted by kb0wwp
Here's a novel idea: Instead of waiting until she says "yes", wait until she says "I do"!

"I do" doesn't mean an automatic "yes" when ever you want.

[hapoo]

Originally posted by cheapbast@rd



most marriages break up because of financial stress , not sexual incompatibility. basing your marriage decision on sexual compatitibility will be hard to justify when your spouse gets older, a little saggier, and a new model becomes available. instead of being committed to love her and improve the relationship, you'll say, "i don't like her as well in the sack so...NEXT!!!"

if anything, couples should have to go to a basic financial management class before they tie the knot. that will prob. save more relationships than anything else.

I would think that most people who got married had sex before hand, so it wasn't an issue. Your not considering the ones who didn't get married because of it.

[cheapie]

my point is that zen thought waiting until marriage is a bad idea because of the risk of incompatibility. my contention is that i have scarcely, if ever, heard of this occuring. (i'm not precluded his point tho...) one of the top reasons for divorce is financially-based. also, i would suggest that the main reason that people look elsewhere for nookie is because of boredom, not compatibility.


imho

[ski]

Originally posted by Dirty Sanchez


"I do" doesn't mean an automatic "yes" when ever you want.

It does on the wedding night! I was surprised I didn't know this, and please correct what I'm about to say if it's wrong -- you are REQUIRED to have sex within a certain amount of time after the wedding, something to the effect of consummating the marriage. I find this odd in a way!

[hapoo]

Originally posted by cheapbast@rd
my point is that zen thought waiting until marriage is a bad idea because of the risk of incompatibility. my contention is that i have scarcely, if ever, heard of this occuring. (i'm not precluded his point tho...) one of the top reasons for divorce is financially-based. also, i would suggest that the main reason that people look elsewhere for nookie is because of boredom, not compatibility.


imho

And i agree with you, i've seen many people break up over financial issues.
Anyone willing to wait till marrage for sex better not complain when they get it! lol
But when was the last time you saw two people who waited till marrage? On the other hand, how many times have you heard of people breaking up before marrage due to sexual compatabilty.

I'm not speaking on my own behalf. I'm just speaking based on what i've seen/heard.

[cheapie]

Originally posted by hapoo



And i agree with you, i've seen many people break up over financial issues.
Anyone willing to wait till marrage for sex better not complain when they get it! lol
But when was the last time you saw two people who waited till marrage? On the other hand, how many times have you heard of people breaking up before marrage due to sexual compatabilty.

I'm not speaking on my own behalf. I'm just speaking based on what i've seen/heard.

i'm guessing that people that waited, like me, aren't going to split up over the issue.

however, people that are less concerned with, ummm, traditional values might place a greater importance on it and split up over it.

[coleslaw]

Originally posted by hapoo
I think thats bull****. I mean, if i sign a contract with someone i can't just go rip it up mid term can i? I'm sure the people who wrote this had the best intentions in mind, but it just sounds like one of those laws that will be abused like crazy.

If a girl consents and then changes her mind a half-hour into the deed, I'm going to sue her for breach of contract!

[nickel]

Originally posted by coleslaw


If a girl consents and then changes her mind a half-hour into the deed, I'm going to sue her for breach of contract!

would like to be in the courtroom for that one

[coleslaw]

Originally posted by nickelback


would like to be in the courtroom for that one

Prosecutor: So you claim that she gave you verbal consent?

Me: Yes, and oral consent as well.

[nickel]

Originally posted by coleslaw


Prosecutor: So you claim that she gave you verbal consent?

Me: Yes, and oral consent as well.

Courtroom audience: HAHAHAHAHA!

Judge: "Order in the court!"

[Ladogaboy]

Originally posted by cheapbast@rd



i'm guessing that people that waited, like me, aren't going to split up over the issue.

however, people that are less concerned with, ummm, traditional values might place a greater importance on it and split up over it.

Chances are, if you waited that long for it, it probably wasn't a priority for you, and, ergo, not an important factor in choosing a spouse. That is fine, in my mind, but personally, I don't want to commit the rest of my life to a person that isn't interested in sharing their body with me.

My ex and I stopped having sex a year into our relationship due to concerns over pregnancy, and I was fine with waiting for her because she had already proven to me that we were compatable and that she enjoyed it.

[coleslaw]

Originally posted by Ladogaboy
My ex and I stopped having sex a year into our relationship due to concerns over pregnancy, and I was fine with waiting for her because she had already proven to me that we were compatable and that she enjoyed it.

Notice that she is your "ex" now. Maybe, subconsciously, you weren't fine with waiting for her.

Just kidding, man.

[Ladogaboy]

Originally posted by coleslaw
Notice that she is your "ex" now. Maybe, subconsciously, you weren't fine with waiting for her.

Just kidding, man.

Heh, maybe. But since that wasn't even the halfway point, I doubt it. I had some other, "personal" issues come up. Once you lose a woman's interest, you lose everything.

[Joshua]

It really woulnd't affect me.. "Two pops and I'm outta there!"

Austin Powers 2:

her: "in japan, the man comes first and the woman comes second"
AP: "Or sometimes not at all!"

[zenbooty]

"Hey, Baby. Can I breach your contract?

[zenbooty]

Originally posted by cheapbast@rd
most marriages break up because of financial stress , not sexual incompatibility.

So? What does that have to do with anything? All I should be thinking about is money, even before I decide to get married? Sounds horrible. Especially if I have to abstain,too.

basing your marriage decision on sexual compatitibility will be hard to justify when your spouse gets older, a little saggier, and a new model becomes available. instead of being committed to love her and improve the relationship, you'll say, "i don't like her as well in the sack so...NEXT!!!"

I'm guessing you have given little thought to the concept of sexual compatibility, but it doesn't have much to do with age. Its not about trying to score with the hottest piece of tail that walks by at any given moment, either. I think you have some bitter preconceived notions of what it means to be a free sexual being.

if anything, couples should have to go to a basic financial management class before they tie the knot. that will prob. save more relationships than anything else.

Better yet, personal economics should be a mandatory class taught in our public schools.

[le_stick]

I guess, next time when a guy and a girl go at it, a guy has to be ready to stop at the moment the girl cries out "NO." By the way, when the girl says "NO," is he suppose to stop regardless, or do he has to pull it out. Because if he has to pull it out then techinically he has not stop yet......

[WhiskeyPapa]

Originally posted by Dirty Sanchez
"I do" doesn't mean an automatic "yes" when ever you want.

You're preaching to the choir there, bud...