Interesting info about my father...

[Ladogaboy]

So, I was thinking about relationships and people last night, and a thought suddenly occured to me. I know for a FACT that neither my father nor any of his friends have been completely faithful to their wives. Mind you, out of my father and his three closest friends, three of them have been married for 20+ years. The fourth had been married for about 17 years when he and his wife separated--because of his alcohol problem, not infidelity.

Anyway, I'm just not sure what to think about that. I've never really mentioned it to anyone before, and now that I started thinking about it, I'm not sure what to make of it. I know that many people on these boards have their own ideals about these types of things, and I'm sure that many members of this forum have probably cheated.

I guess, the reason I am concerned is that for the last few years, I've been trying to make sure that I don't follow in my father's footsteps. I'm not sure what this tells me, though, because I know that being unfaithful is one thing that I would never do.

[hapoo]

do any of the wives know about this? If not, how did you find out? Just curious.

[Ladogaboy]

Originally posted by hapoo
do any of the wives know about this? If not, how did you find out? Just curious.

Nope, none of them know. At least, not that I know of. And as for how I know, I've witnessed it in the case of my father, and his friends have bragged about it "around the campfire," so to speak.

[ufcrusher]

Well I dont know what you are worried about. Every individual makes a conscious decision whether to cheat or not. Its not like our sexual drives diminish just because we are in a committed relationship. It just comes down to personal choice. You obviously dont like the fact that your father and his friends were all unfaithful, so you have your answer.

If you are worried about it being genetically driven, I have bad news for you. Fidelity isnt prescribed by anyones genes. In fact, everyone on the planet is probably more programmed to cheat then be faithful. Its a biological drive and part of that drive is to do it as often as you can with as many people as you can. Male bodies are designed to be in competition with others and females are designed so that they are fertile every month. Its inate in each of us to search out the best examples of our species. Fortunately, different people think different attributes are important...but generally there are certain things which are perceived as being the most desirable.

Fortunately, our brains allow us to control our actions and stay faithful to the ones we love.

I am sure that every single person on this forum knows at least a couple of people who have been cheated on or cheated on a partner. Its an unfortunate part of society.

[slaus]

I'm in the same boat as you Ladogaboy. My dad was unfaithful to my mom quite a few times. I fear that one day I'll walk down the same path because my dad said my grandfather was unfaithful too.