joke: sunbathing

**tweeteresa** · 08-01-2003, 12:35 AM

A rather well proportioned blonde, Joan, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day but, on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs; she was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.
"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind you sunbathing on the roof but we would very much appreciate you wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday." "What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel." "Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

**tweeteresa** · 08-01-2003, 12:45 AM

An Irish Priest has a hencoop with a number of hens and one rooster. One Saturday he goes into the coop to get some eggs, and can't find the rooster. This bothers him because he believes that some people engage in cock fighting in the parish. The priest figures he can find the culprit at mass the next day. On Sunday, he gets up in the pulpit and says, "all of you who have a cock, stand up"! ALL THE MEN IN THE CHURCH STAND UP. No, no!" says the priest, "I mean all of you who have seen a cock, please stand up". ALL THE WOMEN IN THE CHURCH STAND UP. No, no!", says the priest. "I mean, all of you who have seen a cock that doesn't belong to you, stand up". HALF OF THE WOMEN IN THE CHURCH STAND UP. No! You still don't understand. All of you who have seen my cock, stand up". ALL OF THE NUNS, HALF THE ALTAR BOYS, AND ONE GOAT STOOD UP.