from a forward
Arnolds choice for California language.
For everyone who was wondering what language we, Californians, will be
speaking for the next 3 years ...
The New California Governor has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the state, rather than German
which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, The Terminator's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year
phase-in plan that would become known as "Austro-English" (or, if nobody
will be offended, "Austrionics").. In the first year, "s" will replace
the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c"will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words
like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated
changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. If zis
mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl
hehe the end looks like a bunch of kids chatting in a AOL chatroom