Girlfriend checkin' my e-mail...Grrrrrrr

[StonedWheat]

I am so mad right now. I feel so violated. She's probably been reading my email for months. Just had to change my password. Should I be this mad?

[revil]

Hell ya! Smack that girl! I'll damn her to hell if you'd like.

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The Minister of Sinister

[CluelessSi]

Depends on how much u love her

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~Reality is an illusion~

[pennypinch]

No f'in way should she be doing something like that. You HAVE to lay the smack down. I'm serious: what right does she have to be snoopin' through your stuff? Do you open her mail? Sift through her garbage? Check her sheets for strange stains? No! So why in the hell should she be allowed to check your e-mail!

[coleslaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by pennypinch:
Check her sheets for strange stains?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
hahahaha, honey... this isn't mine!! are you sleeping with your dog again???

[att]

lol..........that's why i have more than one email, my girlfriend thinks i have one.

[Nanotech9]

att, are you saying being dishonest is the way to go???? I admit I don't like people reading over my shoulder or checking my email, but if I don't have anything to hide, I wouldn't mind somebody checking it. only thing is that I'de like to know they're checking it, not doing it behind my back.

[This message has been edited by Nanotech9 (edited 08-09-2000).]

[Jenny]

I think CluelessSi is right. Depends on how much you love her. If she isn't someone you think you want to spend the rest of your life with, then move on. If she is, then find out WHY she was doing it. Does she feel like she has a reason not to trust you? If you haven't done anything to abuse her trust, then she needs to be sure of that. If you have, then it serves you right! Seriously, women are funny sometimes. No matter how much they love you, they can be intensely jealous creatures! Myself, included. So talk to her about it if she is worth it to you, okay?

[StonedWheat]

Thanks for all your replies, and thanks especially Jenny. Ironically, that's her name too. I can admit she has reason's to be snooping around. She dosen't trust me because two of my closest friends are girls and they don't get along with her very well. But I was thinking about all the email's she's read and how she's reacted to them and I realize she has been reading them for months. Like she's known certain people's birthdays from happy birthday emails I've sent out. She's been asking me a lot of questions lately too about me seeing other people, which I have not. I email a lot of old friends that I don't mention to her, which probably makes her trust me less. Basically her snooping around has made the trust worse on both sides, at least temporarily. Sometimes what people DON'T know is an asset.

[CluelessSi]

I hope everything goes well. I think that part of the reason that she snoops is because she still loves u very much so really don't want to lose u. I much rather have a gf that cares then one that could care less

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~Reality is an illusion~

[Booyamos]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by StonedWheat:
[B]She dosen't trust me because two of my closest friends are girls and they don't get along with her very well [B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Hey hey I have that same problem too, sucks sometimes cause you just want to go hang out with Linda or whoever but your girlfriend freaks out cause you spend a lot of time with another girl. Crazy stuff, oh well what ya gonna do.

[CuriousGeorge157]

Wheat-Yeah it does suck that your gf did that but anyone can do that to each other, yes even guys. My roomates bf did the same thing and she was so pissed, but they are still together. The thing is if you think that she is worth it and love her you guys will stay together. She probably did that because she is insecure. Having close friends that are girls probably doesnt help either. Jenny is right girls can get crazy jealous and sometimes lose their rationality. I get so pissed at my bf all the time when girls try to pick up on him...like u just want to beat all there asses.....the point is jealously can make u do stupid things...

[sbp]

Since I never get any email I don't have to worry about this problem.

*sob* its-its okay I'll-I'll just go sit in the corner and drink a beer while being ignored.

<p align="right"><font size=1><a href="

[This message has been edited by sbp (edited 08-10-2000).]

[Pdizog]

Egh...girlfriends checking e-mail is some major suckage. They get jealous over the smallest things. Whatever. If you have nothing to hide...you should have nothing to worry about. That's my opinion at least.

[bicycleKICK]

lol, If a girl read my email, she would quickly become bored as there never is anything interesting...just

"hey, thanks for signing up for ______.com"
and
"more free T-shirts"

that's about it...never anything juicy...

[CluelessSi]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bicycleKICK:
lol, If a girl read my email, she would quickly become bored as there never is anything interesting...just

"hey, thanks for signing up for ______.com"
and
"more free T-shirts"

that's about it...never anything juicy...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
till she finds the secret account =) j/k



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~Reality is an illusion~

[att]

women have been checking up on us since the beginning of time-checking our pockets, flipping through the mail on our counter, pretending like they arent listening when we're on the phone or checking our messages-
they've just evolved with the technology. if you like the girl then forget about it, if you have something to hide then that's tough sh!t for you, you're busted. if they dont snoop then they dont care. i dont personally do anything wrong, but i know how my girlfriend is, so i keep some things on a separate account to keep myself from having to deal with any extra b.s.

[muffdivr]

hey i have to agree about having several or more than just one email address. my wife is the same way. nothing bad though but i just tell everyone else to send my email to ****@hotmail.com or whatever. the one i have at home is mostly for family emails and also some friends. if she's someone you dont really care too much for then you should tell her to either quit looking at your stuff or just make another account and let her think its okay to look at it. im not too sure if this makes sense.

[Rynn]

Originaly posted by sbp.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Since I never get any email I don't have to worry about this problem. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Does this mean you feel neglected?

Anyways, I think it's not fair to read other peoples mail. If they know you read it and they feel ok then yeah, maybe. But I don't like it when others read mails that are for me. Not even when there is nothing special to read. I think this is all about privacy. And everyone needs atleast a little bit of privacy.

[This message has been edited by Rynn (edited 08-11-2000).]

[carpenoctem]

All you have to do is setup a few email accounts with names like [email protected]..send yourself a few emails thanking you for all the time you spent at the fundraiser and with the kids at the hospital...and then, as they say, it'll be cherry.

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And furthermore, I believe that Carthage should be destroyed.

[Argghman]

As usual many of you guys have good opinions but i think it can go both ways. Yes it depends on how much you love but there are 3 different situations. There's the love where they trust you but still feel jealous. There's the love where they don't trust you and feel jealous. And then there's the love so much, that you can't be jealous because you want them to be happy. Of course...it's highly unlikely anyone could reach the latter love without getting dumped. =( But if you have to stick with the first 2 loves....it's gonna be hard, Jealousy deterioates any type of relationship. It eats at you until you blow up..and when it blows..it's never pretty. Either way start over, and quickly get rid of the jealousy FAST one way or another. If you don't, you can bet it'll show up later. oh, don't follow there advice on misleading, though i myself have 2 emails...one for newletters and registration that require email addresses and the other for personal it's not gonna fix it.
Just modifying to say yeah it's ok to be mad, and posting up here was a good idea.

[This message has been edited by Argghman (edited 08-11-2000).]

[reagancajun]

You said she has a reason not to trust you because your best friends are girls. That is no reason not to trust you. Just because you're friends with people of the opposite sex doesn't mean you're unfaithful, even if they and your girlfriend don't get along. Take it from this woman: reading other peoples' private mail is a no-no. Not cool.
You should tell her that you don't appreciate this invasion of privacy and would like to know what the two of you can do to reestablish trust in the relationship. That is, if the relationship is worth salvaging. Hope it works out.

[StonedWheat]

I still haven't had a chance to talk to her yet. She went on vacation with her family for 11 days, right after she told me she was snooping. Her leaving was definitely a plus in this situation. It gave me time to calm down and to read all these helpful responses from you fellow apexers I definitely will try to work things out with her. This is her first real relationship so I take that into consideration a lot with her. Gosh, I hope she dosen't read this thread either

[This message has been edited by StonedWheat (edited 08-14-2000).]