S. Divorce.

**oblongmelon** · 01-19-2004, 12:18 PM

yep it sucks..

**Butch** · 01-19-2004, 12:26 PM

Wow. Oblong . . . our paths haven't crossed much at all in these forums over the past few years, but I feel for ya. That's horrible.

**Johnnymac** · 01-19-2004, 12:39 PM

Jeez OB that really sucks. I dont know what to say besides that I will keep you in my prayers and I hope everything works out for the best. Who knows what makes people tick but I am sure that he is a fool for doing this.

-C

**nickel** · 01-19-2004, 01:16 PM

oh man, sorry OB.

i guess none of us really does know what is around the corner for us no matter how much we think we do.

and even tho you and i don't always see eye to eye, do know i am being genuine when i say we are all here for you.

**attgig** · 01-19-2004, 01:26 PM

wow...freakin outta the blue....

sorry to hear the news OB. you'll be in my prayers.

**Jeffbx** · 01-19-2004, 01:32 PM

Wow - good luck to you. Hope all of you come throught it OK (kids too!)

**whitak24** · 01-19-2004, 02:18 PM

obby....so sorry to hear about this. i don't know what else to say, other than that i hope everything works out ok for you. you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

**Kim** · 01-19-2004, 02:43 PM

Oh Obby, I am so sorry. I hope things work out, and we are here for you anytime you need us.

**~~Cantacuzene~~** · 01-19-2004, 03:15 PM

Thats terrible news. Sorry to hear it.

**speedracer120** · 01-19-2004, 03:43 PM

Wow, I really don't know what to say. I'm sorry to hear about it.

**Markel** · 01-19-2004, 04:43 PM

That has to be tough coming out of nowhere. All the best to you, Obby.

**chrissy** · 01-19-2004, 06:36 PM

Obby you are one of the strongest women I know, even if I know you only on here. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there.

**ski** · 01-19-2004, 07:53 PM

Consider my thoughts with you when you read this

**oblongmelon** · 01-19-2004, 08:37 PM

thanks everybody...

**ufcrusher** · 01-19-2004, 10:42 PM

Obby - thats absolutely horrible. I dont know if its worth your time and effort, or even if you would want this, but what about suggesting counseling with him. It may be a waste, but at the same time, it might help the situation. It sounds like he is going through some mid life crisis or something and maybe with the help of a professional he can see reality.

If not, then I would suggest that YOU see a lawyer. Even if you part as friends, divorce is not easy and you should have representation.

Just hang in there and remember sometimes even when you do everything right, it doesnt work out.

**eSDee** · 01-19-2004, 11:26 PM

Obby that is truly a bigtime suckage. I'm very sorry to hear that. The only thing that I can say is that my aunt and uncle divorced about 10 years ago, and initially everybody in my family hated her because my uncle is my blood relative and she is not. Everybody felt sorry for my uncle because they had 4 kids who were still young. However, as time went on we got to see why she was tired of his ass. He is very controlling and requires his wife to be subserviant. I got to see how he was always trying to boss my sisters around into getting stuff for him, and they were like hell nah. Anyways to make a long story short, his youngest kid got married a couple of weeks ago and I saw my aunt for the first time in a long time. She looked great and was very happy. My sisters got to chatting with her and she said that as painful as it was to go through a divorce, she finally got her life back. She didn't get married to become a slave, especially because she is an educated woman. It turned out to be the best thing for her in the long run and she is now living a very happy and fulfilling life.

So I am not sure if this is a similar situation that you are in, but just know that eventually things will work themselves out. Perhaps Mr. Melon just needs some time to think about it. Perhaps not. But you are a wonderful woman full of knowledge and spirit, and so we have no doubt that you are going to pull through this. We are here to listen to you and give you support whenever you need it. Just keep your head up.

Good luck with everything.

**sbp** · 01-20-2004, 03:25 AM

Really sorry to hear it Obby.

**LPMiller** · 01-20-2004, 05:04 AM

Damn, girl.

I second counseling. I mean, it hardly seems fair that he got all this time to sort out his feelings on it, but you get no chance at all. Just because he's having a midlife crisis doesn't make your feelings pointless.

And I dunno how I'd feel about 'being taken care of' by a man who just quit his job to play golf.

Yeah, he OWES it to you to go to marriage counselor.

**zenbooty** · 01-20-2004, 05:13 AM

I'm very sorry to hear the news, Obby. I wish you strength and courage in the times ahead.

**johnnymk** · 01-20-2004, 05:50 AM

Wow, Of all the people in this forum, I thought you had a pretty strong marriage. You seem like a pretty fair woman with a very nice personality.

Some guys don't know what they have till they lose it.

Major Suckage!!

**mcs328** · 01-20-2004, 02:52 PM

Woah...sorry to hear that. I would try counseling or some form of reconciliation with him. This is just so out of the blue.

**le_stick** · 01-20-2004, 03:00 PM

I'm very sorry to hear that Obby. Please be/stay strong

**Grimm** · 01-20-2004, 05:01 PM

The first thought that occurs to me is GET A LAWYER.
What does he mean that his lawyer is going to "make sure you are taken care of". What kind of crock is that? What are the laws in your state. Here in Cali 1/2 of everything is yours. If you have family here maybe you should move here quick and file here before he get his filed. Depends on what the laws are. I don't even know if you can do that, you might be required to establish resedency first.

Some very important things:
1) Get a Lawyer right now.

2) Don't move out of the house. (unless the laws suck so bad for you that moving is your only option) Without a physical presence you might not get it.

3) Get a Lawyer right now.

4) There are no friendly divorces. If you were still frineds, he wouldn't be breaking a solemn vow to you, would he.

5) Get a Lawyer right now.

6) Why can't he go play golf and stay married? There still might be a honey on the side.

7) Get a Lawyer right now.

8) Establish your own checking account immediately. You will need to have a way of paying your bills. Has he already moved all the money?

9) Get a Lawyer right now.

10) Did I mention that you should be consulting an attourney immediately?

Actualy, my very first thought was that if he has a terrible accident and dies before he files, you get everything, including the life insurance.

Condolances Obby.

It sucks when someone breaks their word to you for no reason other than they are selfish.

We should all chip in and rent a wood chipper to feed mr. mellon into feet first.

**oblongmelon** · 01-20-2004, 05:03 PM

some superstars just can't stay put!

**whitak24** · 01-20-2004, 05:52 PM

Originally posted by oblongmelon
I'm sure tomorrow I'll have some other mood about this-please bear with me ok.

we're here no matter what mood you're in obby

hang in there.....

**LPMiller** · 01-20-2004, 06:03 PM

That's not true. I cannot stand hanging around people crabbier than I am. Y'all are just lucky that it takes a lot of damn work to be crabbier than I am at any given point in time.

Obby, Grimm is wrong - you can have a 'friendly divorce'. But, you don't {i]have[/i] to. Seems to me this is a bombshell that came out of nowhere, and I'd be pissed as hell too.

"his mind is made up". Bullcrap. He doesn't know his own mind, or he wouldn't find it so easy to throw all the years away. But that's just me. Even if my mind was made up, I'd still wouldn't pop this out of nowhere, and I still wouldn't skip on the counseling. Not after all these years.

Unless.

Yeah, unless. Unless I had a little sumpton sumpton. Unless I had a reason that I sure as hell didn't want anyone to know about.

Grimm is right. Get a lawyer NOW. It may just be a midlife crisis, and he's being totally honest with you. If so, great, even if he is being a **** about it. But this sounds an awful lot like a letter that would normally start out, "Dear Abby,"

1)Out of the Blue
2)Mind is made up, no discussion at all
3)Promises of support and equity.

It ain't washing.

**oblongmelon** · 01-20-2004, 06:37 PM

I'm movin on up-to the east side..to a de-lux apt in the skyyyy

**johnnymk** · 01-20-2004, 10:34 PM

Sounds to me like something major happened at work that he no longer wants to face...Maybe a confrontation with his boss and he got fired resulting in a bruised ego or an affair there which turned sour.

Plus..deciding to be a Golf Pro in the middle of winter?