From the often hilarious http://www.*******************/
Awful Link of the Day: Jon's World o' Squirrels (thanks Steven) - Folks, I present you with the dumbest website in the history of the universe.
A squirrel will not drop a nut unless there is the most dire emergency. And, obviously, if a squirrel is eating, its teeth will be occupied. This is the time when you "make your move!" Squirrels have extremely soft fur. Additional disclaimer: there's no accounting for individual differences.
If you get bitten, don't blame me! Also, it is very rare for squirrels to carry rabies so don't get too paranoid about it. Remember that although squirrels are not tame, they are also not in any great hurry to bite you, even if they seem to approach aggressively. This would go against their "conditioning:" they don't get many handouts from humans that they bite!
BECAUSE they have big, shiny eyes & they will sit on your shoulder & they can live as long as seven years but are lucky to live two & if you sit quietly you can hear them nibbling & they can hang upside down by their hind feet while eating & people run over them and don't care & they wiggle their noses & when they "raid" birdfeeders they aren't playing around, they are hungry & when two squirrels meet they shake their tails at each other & they are as soft as they look & when they go to sleep at night they use their tails for a blanket & people can choose to be kind to animals & Because wherever you find them there are also beautiful trees, I'm proud to be a squirrel watcher!
There's approximately 4,000 pages dedicated to the fantastic world of squirrels on this monstrosity. It makes me glad to know that some people have much more spare time on their hands than I do. It also makes me glad to know that I don't live near them.
[This message has been edited by renots (edited 08-15-2000).]