has anyone ever had a problem with a social anxiety disorder?
as i read up on it, i'm more and more sure thats my problem. i made an appointment with my doctor to discuss it, but like most PCPs, i won't get to see her for another two weeks.
I'm just wondering if anyone out there has the same problem, and how they go about dealing with it.
i think i may have had it at one point in my life. actually i think i may STILL have something of it (though ive never been diagnosed).
crowds used to scare me a bit, though not all the time. and not much anymore these days. usually its a matter of "obligation" that pushes me to mingle in a crowd - say at work, or at a function. or if im in a group meeting that i HAVE TO participate. im obligated to be there and participate, so i do so. and im usually comfortable being there, being myself.
thing is, im VERY shy when i dont know anyone at a gathering. im usually very quiet then, and i tend to observe more whats happening, trying to get a feel for the crowd and the place im at. the longer im anonymous in a crowd, the longer i grow a bit uncomfortable. though not by much, since im able to find something else to grab my attention. i RARELY come up to anyone to strike up a conversation - usually someone has to FIRST talk to me. after that, the flood gates are open. i simply need a teeny tiny opening, and ill take it from there. though when ive exhausted every possible reason to be there, i simply walk out and go do something else.
nowadays im im much better in dealing with crowds. i go to concerts and gigs by myself and though i dont know anyone there, id feel ok and fine about it. id rather know someone there, or have someone come with me, but if i wanna go see a group or a band, im going, regardless.
ive actually thought about my shyness and though i still have it, im slowly letting it go. ive kept myself from far too many good happenings in the past just cuz i was too shy to go. i dunno really why, probably cuz im too self-conscious, or that im afraid of what they'll think of me or how i look, or whatever foolish crap like that.in truth there really wasnt ANYTHINg to worry about, so i said ENOUGH, and decided to live a selfworry-free life. it feels much better now going about my life these days.
one thing ive kept in my mind is that im not gonna let a simple overblown shyness keep me from being happy.
there are pictures, but no,nothing happens on my site.
When I was younger I was very shy, but I like to think that I've grown out of that for the most part. However, I still make a conscious effort to keep to myself because I am a private person. Perhaps it is my shyness influencing me in some way, but I am always fully aware of my actions and in no way feel uncomfortable in a social environment. Maybe I just don't trust most people, or maybe I am an introvert. In any case, I honestly don't think I'll ever change in this regard.
the internet scares me but I'm also afraid if I don't go on it may take it personally.
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DCM #1 (Founder)
"Nobody beats Vitus Gerulaitis 18 times in a row." - Vitus Gerulaitis on beating Jimmy Connors after 17 failed attempts.
My fiancee is getting her masters in psych, and we always discuss various disorders. The number one question to tell ask yourself if you think you have a disorder is "Does it affect your daily routine?"Originally Posted by theorangeone
For instance, there is a woman who has an autistic spectrum disorder. Except, technically, she doesn't, because she managed to get a Ph.D. and maintains a long-term intimate relationship with another woman. Hence, while she has all the symptoms of Asperger's (call it Autism Lite), it's not necessarily a disorder, because she functions fine.
My point: If you would intentionally avoid a social situation, knowing that it would get you fired from your job, you're a good candidate for social anxiety.
Just another thing that psychology has invented so that the drug companies can keep making money off of new products for gullible consumers.
There will probably be a drug invented soon to help internet forum addiction (IFA)
“Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.” (Winston Churchill)
one of the reasons i NEVER want to go to a doctor for anything like this. i believe in the power of the body to heal itself. obviously if youre severely injured physically, you'll need help, so yeah, you go to a doctor and get treated.
but in the matters of the mind, i believe that what you put on yourself, you can also take off. NO matter how deeply entrenched it is in your psyche, i believe you can get it out of your system. you will NEED some sort of help, yes, but not in the form of drugs or prescription.
people will say that some drugs have been known to effectively heal psychological problems. i dont believe that - i think it merely HELPED the person to get over their problem.
The biggest key is awareness. if the person truly wants to get healed, and is made aware of what may have led to that psychological problem, the person can heal themselves without the help of drugs.
well, MAYBE to a minimal extent (one of my past GFs has depression and was undergoing treatment. she was taking paxil, and she says its helped her deal with her depression).
but personally, i prefer NOT to take any form of synthetic drugs to combat psychological problems. Popping a pill simply is not an answer. it may help some, but it cant get you the solution. it will at best help you, it will at its worst get you dependent on it and really do nothing beneficial. these days its like a be-all-end-all solution. HAve a problem? take a pill! most doctors are just so quick to write up a prescription and send the patient on their way.
there are pictures, but no,nothing happens on my site.
Oooooooh I have IFA. Any more info on when this drug comes out.
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals.
i'm not going specifically for medication. actually, i've read a lot of people have sucess just going with behavior modification, and making little steps with the help of an outsider. in fact, i'm horrible when it comes to taking medication.
and johnny, i highly disagree with you. i do know of some people who have to dealt with this social anxiety disorders, as well as other "newer" mental illnesses with drugs at all.
when it gets the to point where the thought of having to make a phone call to someone you don't know makes you physically ill, or you can't go get a haircut because you can't bring yourself to talk to the receptionist, there is something wrong.
I know the feeling orangeone. If it is a place that I have never been I get very anxious. Most of the time I cannot bring myself to go in. Usually if I have someone else with me it makes it a lot easier.
Definately try and talk to someone. It is something that just won't go away by itself. They might be able to give you ideas on how to approach situations so that you feel more comfortable. Drugs aren't always the answer, but are sometimes necessary. It doesn't mean that you are a weak person. Good luck in getting better and don't let people make you feel bad.
Like I said, if it interrupts your daily routine...
The most successful type of therapy for this (in my opinion, but I think it's a damned good one) is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Basically, a therapist/counselor walks you through the reasons for your anxiety, through many different levels, then tries to work at the deepest level to change your behaviors.
For example, if you are afraid to take a test because you think you'll fail, therapy will have you say why you're afraid (because you'll fail), what failure would mean to you (failing the class), what that would mean to you (drop out of school/lose scholarship), and why that is important to you (you'd be a disappointment to yourself). Like I said, you work on the root cause, not the symptoms. And it works.
Sorry to be so quick to judge, but I saw a commercial on TV last week promoting a drug for this problem. I couldn't believe it when I saw it.
I was amazed that they were promoting a drug for something which could be solved with a little guidance from someone else.
After thinking about this so-called disorder, I remembered a remark which I had made about people at various churches I have been to and other social affairs I have attended.
I have noticed during the last five to ten years the total lack of social skills among strangers. It seems that nobody wants to initiate a conversation, and if I initiate one, it dies within a matter of moments.
I don't know whether it has to do with "cocooning", where people decide to isolate themselves from the rest of the world or just a few friends and relatives. Or if it has to do with information overload, or if it has something to do with being consumed with the impersonal side of the Internet.
“Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.” (Winston Churchill)
I just wanted to address some comments and ideas in previous posts. Psychological or psychiatric disorders cannot always be solved simply "with a little guidance from someone else." For many, these disorders can be debilitating. Yes, all of us feel depressed sometimes, or feel nervous or shy, but there are some who are truly incapacitated without proper medical treatment. Antipsychotics are indespensible for those with schizoprenia, and modern antidepressants and mood stabilizers allow those with mood disorders to live normal lives. With advances in pharmacologic treatments, I have a problem with discouraging people from seeking proper treatment simply because the treatment may include taking a pill or a shot in addition to proper psychotherapy. Do I advocate benzos such as valium for everyone who is nervous in front of people? Absolutely not. However, pills (with proper followup with the physician) often afford amazing results.
whodini
I used to think i had a social anxiety disorder, then i realized i'm just really lazy. "hmm, go to a party, or sit here and watch tv? definitly tv, that party is like 5 blocks away. I don't wanna do all that walking."
I find that I prefer to relate to people one on one. I get that feeling when I am about to have a panic attack whenever I have to be around a crowd of people. It does not really bother me though. I just deal with it. I am pretty content otherwise. I never felt the need to get professional help.
I guess if it stops you from being happy, then do something about it. Let people know how things go. You will not only help yourself but others having the same issues.
I went to the therapist FIRST to see if I could find exercises to do to quell my anxiety. When that didn't work, I went to my PCP, got some meds, and you know what? They could be placebo's, but I feel a lot better, and I would gladly pay the few extra bucks a month for my medicine (until I can get off it soon) for the difference in anxiety that I experience
And closer...
About 10 years ago, I had panic attacks and was put on Paxil. The best result was a huge reduction in my social anxiety. I could talk in front of large groups, introduce myself to pretty women and have become a successful engineering manager as a result. The only side effect has been delayed Org.
I have light OCD.
"I remember my first orgasm, I just wish someone was there to share it with me..."11-05-2003 05:33 AM - Topane
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin
Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, & the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx
Hell is other people - Jean-Paul Sartre
Hmmm...interesting
Edit(added):
Oh and I think my older brother has social axiety disorder. He refused to speak up with another programmer to decide which method was better, his or the other guy. So pouted and didn't do any work or help. Mostly bc of pride but I suspect he didn't want to talk to people to justify his case. So they took him off the project and out him in a cube in a corner somewhere. Now he gets like vertigo or complains the walls are closing in on him and he doesn't want to talk to his subby neighbors. I would suggest he get help but advocate him get off his butt and ask what the hell is he supposed to do. I don't think he even knows who he reports to now and he's too afraid to ask.
Beh...maybe he's just a moron also....I dunno...I can go either way.
Last edited by mcs328; 06-08-2004 at 10:10 AM.
I don't think they're invented, but I think these mental and emotional "quirks" exist in every person to some degree or another as a result of the typical stresses of living life. The more stress, the more these little neuroses come to the fore and become psychoses. Its not like a physical disease where you eiher have it or you don't. Its more like a spectrum of severity and where your mental state lies along that spectrum.
Of course, the drug companies want you to believe you're closer to the Basket Case area of the spectrum than you really are.
Common sense is what tells you the Earth is flat.
I totally agree. There are moments or different situations when I feel "shy". I have no idea what brings it on: constipation, time of the month, too much or too little to drink, a full moon, etc.
“Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.” (Winston Churchill)
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