So this bear walks into a bar and says "I'll have a pint of ............................................................................Stella please"
The bartender says, "why the big pause?"
The bear shrugs, looks at his hands and says "I was born with them"
70% of the world is covered by water. The rest is covered by Bob Sanders
STELLAAAAAAA!
STELLLAAA!!
70% of the world is covered by water. The rest is covered by Bob Sanders
So this mushroom walks into a bar with a big grin. The bartender asks "Why the happy face?"
"Oh, I am just a fun guy"
“Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.” (Winston Churchill)
Oh please let this thread die before Froggy finds it.
:monkey:
yes... those were VERY BAD!!!!!
DarkFury's Pimptopia - Don't Hate the Playa, Hate the Game!
Home of the Original OG Pimp (accept NO imitations)
Originally Posted by Merlin
Dell Dimension 9200 | Intel Core 2 Quad Q6600 (2.4GHz) | 4x1GB DDR2 | 256MB nVidia GeForce 8800GT
Dell Studio 17 | Intel Core i7-720QM (1.6GHz) | 6GB DDR3 1066MHz | 1GHz ATI Mobility Radeon HD 4650
Intel P4-C 3.0GHz | ECS 865PE-A | 3x512MB PC3200 | 128MB PNY GeForce 6600GT
http://[img]http://sfx-images.mozill....gif[/img]
That....was....hilarious!!!!
potato gun + marshmallow gun = FLAMING MARSHMALLOWS OF DOOM!!!!!
-Welfareloser
4/13/05
Time to switch to AMD now I guess... (just kidding... )
-Darkfury
5/23/05
I don't think this'll stop anything though - the better you idiot-proof a system, the more impressive the idiot becomes.
-ShawnLee
5/30/08
just as I was about to post "I don't get it", I figured it out.... why does God have to make the intelligent ones with no common sense
And closer...
So this horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?"
So this priest, mininister, rabbi, doctor, and lawyer walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"
A ham and cheese sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry pal, we don't serve food here."
Have you seen the tree's new car?
It's a two cedar.
And closer...
a grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "HEY! we have a drink named after you here."
the grasshopper replied, "you have a drink name Steve?"
heh some guy came in to my work last week and told that 'joke'. he then tells me he wants to mail something priority over night. so i get everything ready for him and he hands me a check to put in the envelope... for $1 million. thats when i asked 'what is this, some kind of joke?' he just said that he wishes it was.i should have kept the check
Hehheh some guy came in to my work last week and told that 'joke'. he then tells me he wants to mail something priority over night. so i get everything ready for him and he hands me a check to put in the envelope... for $1 million. thats when i asked 'what is this, some kind of joke?' he just said that he wishes it was.
A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!"
my hands still burn... from holding it
a string tries to go into a fancy restaurant. the maitre d' says, "sorry, we don't serve strings."
the string leaves, scuffs himself up a bit, and doubles over and ties himself. he returns to the bar, and the maitre d' says, "aren't you the string i just threw out of here a few minutes ago?"
"nope, sorry," says the string. "i'm a frayed knot."
Those first two bar jokes were new to me. I'm gonna add them to my arsenal.
A snail goes in to a car dealership and tells the salesman that he wants a big S painted on every side of the car. The car salesman asks the snail why he wants that done. The snail replies, "When I drive around, I want people to say, 'Look at that S car go'"
great bear joke
____________________
IF A FAT GIRL FALLS IN THE WOODS
DO THE TREES LAUGH?
Whats the difference between snowmen and snow-women?
Snowballs.
"eh, take your opinion and shove it... somewhere else other than this thread" ~ welfareloser
Two peanuts were walking down the street in a bad neighborhood. One was assaulted.
froggy will out bad joke you all
"So cheers alland remember, don't mistake my old age for maturity. Just because I grow old does not mean I grow up.
" -Merlin
"Now that your limelight has been sufficently trashed I will leave"- Nija
Each religion has got their own way of making you feel like a victim. The Christians say 'you are a sinner', and you better just zip up your trousers and give the money to the pope and we'll give you a room up in the hotel in the sky.
~Timothy Leary
It's kind of nice to have these lame jokes floated around every once in a while.
I only have one:
Who do you call when your walking down the street, and your toe falls off?
The toe truck
OK Nija...that's so bad, I have to believe that was one of those popsicle stick jokes.
Who do you call when your walking down the street, and your toe falls off?
The toe truck
[___
]
(O lllllll O)
[]==O=[]
OK Nija...that's so bad, I have to believe that was one of those popsicle stick jokes.
I actually made it up when I was 6 (I even remember where and what I was doing, I was in Seattle, and my mom and my 'aunt' jan were all cracking jokes, on our way to the Space Needle [where I rode a ride and got sick all over the entrance
so this pirate walks into a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a perch with a red string tied on his left leg and a green string on his right leg. the pirate asks the shopkeeper, "aaarghhh, what be the meanin' of the strings on the birds legs?" the shopkeeper says, "if you pull on the green string, the parrot will speak french, and if you pull on the red string, he'll speak in english." the pirate replied, "arrrghh, what will happen if you pull both strings?"
the parrot replied, "i'll fall off the perch you dumbass!"
70% of the world is covered by water. The rest is covered by Bob Sanders
Two very hungry bums are walking out in the country when they spot a dead buzzard infested with maggots.
One of the bums says "I don't know about you but I am starved and if you want to join me, I am eating this"
The other bum says "Yeccch, you have got to be kidding me..As hungry as I am. I would NEVER touch that."
So the bum gobbles down the whole bird, maggots and all.
A few minutes later, he turns green and then throws up.
The other bum howls "Aha..A warm meal at last !!"
Last edited by johnnymk; 09-22-2004 at 07:56 AM.
“Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.” (Winston Churchill)
The last heapie's and johnnymk's are pretty funny.
Dell Dimension 9200 | Intel Core 2 Quad Q6600 (2.4GHz) | 4x1GB DDR2 | 256MB nVidia GeForce 8800GT
Dell Studio 17 | Intel Core i7-720QM (1.6GHz) | 6GB DDR3 1066MHz | 1GHz ATI Mobility Radeon HD 4650
Intel P4-C 3.0GHz | ECS 865PE-A | 3x512MB PC3200 | 128MB PNY GeForce 6600GT
http://[img]http://sfx-images.mozill....gif[/img]
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