Originally Posted by
ufcrusher
It started out innocently enough... I began to think at parties now and
then- to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another,
and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone-
"to relax," I told myself-- but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became
more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.
That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I had turned
off the TV and asked my mate about the meaning of life, but she just spent
that night at her mother's. I began to think on the job. I knew that
thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and
Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it
exactly we are doing here?" One day the boss called me in. He said,
"Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has
become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll
have to find another job."
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my
conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "It
is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college
professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep
on thinking, we won't have any money!"
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.
She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to
deal with the emotional drama.
"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.
I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into
the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors...
They didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a
Higher Power was looking out for me that night.
As I sank to the ground, clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for
Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.
You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's
Anonymous poster. Which is why am what I am today: a recovering
thinker.
Now I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a
non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.
I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just
seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I think the
road to recovery is nearly complete for me.
Today, I registered to vote Republican.
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