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Thread: Please consider donating to this cause

  1. #1
    Admiral ski's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Please consider donating to this cause

    Since September 11, 2001, Americans and Canadians have come together as never before in our generation. We have banded together to overcome tremendous adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars overseas, corporate/government scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price plunges, droughts, fires, mad cow, SARS, high gasoline prices, and a myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small.

    But now, we must come together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet.

    Hundreds of Professional Hockey players in our very own nation are going to be locked out, living at well below the seven-figure salary level, and as it that weren't bad enough, they could be deprived of their life giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the upcoming lockout situation. But you can help!

    For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day, (that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV), you can help an NHL player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem as it barely covers to annual minimum salary, but it's a start and every little bit will help!

    Although $700.00 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a hockey player it could mean the difference between spending the lockout golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, or a month of medical insurance, but to a hockey player, $700.00 will partially replace his daily salary. Your commitment of less than $700.00 a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.

    HOW WILL I KNOW THAT I'M HELPING?

    Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, RRSP, real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player lounging during the lockout on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150.00). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.

    HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?

    Your NHL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

    YES, I WANT TO HELP!
    I would like to sponsor a locked out NHL player. My preference is
    (check below).
    [ ] Forward
    [ ] Defenseman
    [ ] Goaltender
    [ ] Entire team (Please call our 1-900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team -$10.00 per minute).
    [ ] Jaromir Jagr (Higher cost:$32,000.00 per day).

    Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the duration of the lockout. Please send me a picture of the player I have sponsored, along with a Jaromir Jagr 2001 Income Statement and my very own Bob Goodenow (Executive Director of the NHLPA player's union)pin to wear proudly on my hat, (include $80.00 for hat).

    Your Name:_______________________

    Telephone Number:_________________

    Account Number:___________________ Exp date:________

    [ ] Mastercard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

    Signature:________________________

    Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):

    Account Number:__________________ Exp date_________

    [ ] Mastercard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other
    And closer...

  2. #2
    Chief of Naval Operations sbp's Avatar
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    Question If a league stops playing, does anyone care

    In this case the answer is no.

    With the big three major sports in America being football, basketball, and baseball, ice hockey is the nations 4th sport. And it decides to have a work stoppage. Brilliant!

    What does the NHL have to do to move out of the minor leagues? Well besides getting salaries under control {hey the owners can't police themselves } it can do several things. First, cull the number of teams. Currently the NHL has 30 teams, too many of which are half dead. Expanding into unfavorable climes like the Sunbelt wasn't such a smart idea. The lockout offing weak teams would help out with the next issue of marginal talent that has to be scraped up. Finally change the rules. Got more offense? People don't want to see some borefest.

  3. #3
    What's Da Pho*? bachviet's Avatar
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    Hell no...

    Some of them made more money in one year than I will ever make my entire life.
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  4. #4
    Generic comment noting that I missed the sarcasm of the post.

  5. #5
    Admiral ski's Avatar
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    Geez... IAHD, you're the first person to get the sarcastic nature of the clip! Did some people think this was a real donation cause?

    Ah well, I thought it was funny when I saw it
    And closer...

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