What would you do?

**Hiro** · 08-06-2005, 10:02 PM

I'm actually not positive what forum to put this in, but I am looking for ideas.

A few months ago, I agreed with a good friend that I would sell him an old laptop for $200. This is about six months ago now. Knowing his financial situation, I very openly told him that I know he can't afford $200 right now and I would be happy with $20 a month. This way he could afford it and I would get my money in time. I mean hey, he is a friend, right?

During the six months he has had the laptop now, I have not seen a single dime from him and he has told me more than 10 times he is going to pay me. A month and a half ago, he even gave me this bullsh*t story about how he had brought up the idea of mailing me the money since our schedules are so conflicted. I gave him my address just to be sure he had it, yet I have still not gotten anything from him in the mail.

He's been extremely elusive during this time to the point that I haven't seen him in person in the six months he has had the laptop. He doesn't return my phone calls anymore nor does he respond to e-mails.

I had respect for this guy and I thought I could trust him, but I obviously can't. I left a message a week ago saying that he had seven days to give me the laptop or the money. I haven't heard anything from him and I haven't seen the money or the laptop.

Again, I'm very confused. I have no idea where to go with this. I'm thinking the next step would be to file a police report, but I don't think the cops would do anything.

Any ideas?

Thank you.

**brainsmile** · 08-06-2005, 10:17 PM

I'd say take him to small claims court and sue him for the money plus cost of filing the claim.

or take him on judge judy or judge joe brown

**Jane83** · 08-06-2005, 10:23 PM

the same thing happened to me and a friend whom i let borrow my ipod, and i never saw it again, nor a single penny
i considered it a loss and decided not to dwell on it.
now i dont trust anyone, unless i know where they live and what they do so that i can harass them and stalk them if anything like that happens again.

**brainsmile** · 08-06-2005, 10:38 PM

send him a virus

siphon out $200 in gas or roughly about 10 gallons

**Gothic Girl** · 08-06-2005, 11:52 PM

Want me to write him a check like I'm doing for Brainsmile's neighbor?

I dunno, I would prolly take him to small claims, but if you think about it, you might be spending more money on the filing fees and whatever. But, it might teach him a lesson not to do that again.

Do you know where he lives? Maybe you could show up at his house and demand the laptop back.

**ufcrusher** · 08-07-2005, 12:25 AM

****** THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND DOES NOT CONSTITUTE LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD NOT ACT OR RELY ON ANY INFORMATION OR MATERIALS PROVIDED WITHOUT CONSULTING YOUR PERSONAL ATTORNEY. NO ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP IS CREATED ABSENT AN EXPRESS WRITTEN AGREEMENT BETWEEN BOTH PARTIES. IF YOU ARE SEEKING LEGAL ADVICE PLEASE CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR AREA WHO CAN CAREFULLY GO OVER YOUR CLAIMS AND ADVISE YOU ON A INDIVIDUAL BASIS WITH REGARD TO ANY SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES AND THE LAWS OF YOUR PARTICULAR STATE. ********

I would send him a demand letter saying that he turn over the money or the laptop in the same condition that he got it from you with all parts/software/ etc that were in place at the time you sold it to him. Give him 10 business days maximum and tell him that if you do not have payment in full you are going to have your lawyer take the next step. Tell him that you will be going for replacement value of a similiarly equipped unit on the open market, which is what the lawyer says you are entitled to. If you want, throw out a reasonable figure for a base Dell refurb laptop without the discounts you find here.

Tell him that you have already given him 6 months leeway and if it wasnt for the fact that he was a friend, you would have already taken action.

Most people will pay/settle rather than chance being taken to the cleaners. If he questions why you would have already gone to an attorney, say that you were there on another matter and you decided to ask what could be done in this instance.

I will tell you that if you play hardball you WILL MOST LIKELY lose this person as a friend. I had to handle a matter for a sibling with his ex-roommates not too long ago. He got what he was owed $500 and a bunch of messages crying about him getting a lawyer involved. Fortunately, he did not care about maintaining any relationship wth his ex-roommates so burning the bridge wasnt a concern. But if this guy has been avoiding you after you helped him out.....what kind of friend is he in reality?

**Grimm** · 08-07-2005, 12:51 AM

Originally Posted by ufcrusher

I would ...

Hey, you forgot your traditional disclaimer... you getting sloppy?

**Hiro** · 08-07-2005, 06:56 AM

Originally Posted by ufcrusher

But if this guy has been avoiding you after you helped him out.....what kind of friend is he in reality?

That's exactly the point I am at. He has already destroyed any hope of maintaining a friendship.

**nickel** · 08-07-2005, 07:01 AM

Originally Posted by Corsec

That's exactly the point I am at. He has already destroyed any hope of maintaining a friendship.

sucks to lose a friend, but then i wouldn't call him one at this point.

uf gave you good advice.

**revil** · 08-07-2005, 07:12 AM

Originally Posted by Grimm

Hey, you forgot your traditional disclaimer... you getting sloppy?

me thinky he was drunky/. which i amrt not.

**ialsohaveadream** · 08-07-2005, 07:26 AM

Originally Posted by revil

me thinky he was drunky/. which i amrt not.

Oh wait, no. I'd either take him to small claims or tell him you're going to report the laptop as stolen.

And silly you, friends and matters of money don't mix. You should've posted that thing in the FS/T forum...I know someone that was in the market for a laptop.

**brainsmile** · 08-07-2005, 07:45 AM

yeah... report it stolen and name names

**JackHammer** · 08-07-2005, 07:52 AM

Originally Posted by brainsmile

send him a virus

siphon out $200 in gas or roughly about 10 gallons

Where do you live that you are paying $20 a gallon. I know prices are going up and up but $20 is outrageous.

**smeakim** · 08-07-2005, 09:18 AM

This should be the first rule of thumb if you let someone borrow something or give them money. Never give more than you can afford to lose. Second, you have to ponder is $200.00 really worth a friendship. I know it works both ways, but that is that. $200.00 is not that big of a deal overall. You can not eat out once a month and have your cost back. You could also try to get maybe a $100.00 for it and call it good. It really is a matter of how good a friend. I would probably just leave it at that, and think of it as being loaned to him. You don't get the money, but you don't ruin the friendship. If you ever really need the money then ask for the computer back or for the money from him/her at that point. Again when talking about friends and money you always need to give the money knowing that you may never get it back. I am guessing the person was a good friend if you gave them the laptop anyway. JMHO.

**BigJon** · 08-07-2005, 09:28 AM

Originally Posted by smeakim

Again when talking about friends and money you always need to give the money knowing that you may never get it back. I am guessing the person was a good friend if you gave them the laptop anyway. JMHO.

I wish I had friends that would just give me $200 and never expect me to pay it back...

In my opinion, I would find the guy and confront him. Just tell him how ****ty it is for him to do something like this. Ask him nicely for the money or the lappy. If he's a smart friend...he'll realize that he can't get away with it.

**DarkFury** · 08-07-2005, 11:33 AM

Originally Posted by Jane83

the same thing happened to me and a friend whom i let borrow my ipod, and i never saw it again, nor a single penny
i considered it a loss and decided not to dwell on it.
now i dont trust anyone, unless i know where they live and what they do so that i can harass them and stalk them if anything like that happens again.

Same thing has happened to me as well...

A loan becomes a gift... and a supposed friend is lost. But I guess they were never friends to begin with if they don't have any respect for your stuff.

A GOOD friend would feel obligated/remorseful upon the loss or damage of your property. Lack of good faith in property transactions lead to the breakup of many friendships... or so I have seen.

Originally Posted by ufcrusher

I would send him a demand letter saying that he turn over the money or the laptop in the same condition that he got it from you with all parts/software/ etc that were in place at the time you sold it to him. Give him 10 business days maximum and tell him that if you do not have payment in full you are going to have your lawyer take the next step. Tell him that you will be going for replacement value of a similiarly equipped unit on the open market, which is what the lawyer says you are entitled to. If you want, throw out a reasonable figure for a base Dell refurb laptop without the discounts you find here.

Tell him that you have already given him 6 months leeway and if it wasnt for the fact that he was a friend, you would have already taken action.

Most people will pay/settle rather than chance being taken to the cleaners. If he questions why you would have already gone to an attorney, say that you were there on another matter and you decided to ask what could be done in this instance.

I will tell you that if you play hardball you WILL MOST LIKELY lose this person as a friend. I had to handle a matter for a sibling with his ex-roommates not too long ago. He got what he was owed $500 and a bunch of messages crying about him getting a lawyer involved. Fortunately, he did not care about maintaining any relationship wth his ex-roommates so burning the bridge wasnt a concern. But if this guy has been avoiding you after you helped him out.....what kind of friend is he in reality?

The problem with this solution is... the cost and effort of doing it may exceed the value of the property in question.

At what point should you just cut your losses and say... "whatever"?

**cheapodeepo** · 08-07-2005, 12:20 PM

WHOOP his lying ass everytime you see him he is not your friend he is a user or wait untill it all blows over and buy something from him.

**ufcrusher** · 08-07-2005, 05:08 PM

Originally Posted by Grimm

Hey, you forgot your traditional disclaimer... you getting sloppy?

No, it wasnt what I would consider legal advice but rather just common sense. However, in hindsight I should have probably put it there to be safe.

**ufcrusher** · 08-07-2005, 05:15 PM

Originally Posted by DarkFury

The problem with this solution is... the cost and effort of doing it may exceed the value of the property in question.

At what point should you just cut your losses and say... "whatever"?

To claim that he consulted an attorney doesnt cost him anything. Its the actual consulting that COULD cost him something. Its more of a way to try and "twist" his arm into doing what is right. The fear of the dog being let loose should cause the person to do what is right rather than chance getting "bit."

I will say that having a professional craft the demand letter will make it seem more official and thereby possibly have more of an impact...but thats up to his discretion to recognize if his writing is strong enough.

**DarkFury** · 08-07-2005, 07:18 PM

Originally Posted by ufcrusher

To claim that he consulted an attorney doesnt cost him anything. Its the actual consulting that COULD cost him something. Its more of a way to try and "twist" his arm into doing what is right. The fear of the dog being let loose should cause the person to do what is right rather than chance getting "bit."

I will say that having a professional craft the demand letter will make it seem more official and thereby possibly have more of an impact...but thats up to his discretion to recognize if his writing is strong enough.

So basically you are saying fear and deception are the tools of getting what you want here...

But if that fails... at what point do you have to cut your losses and say "whatever"?

**ufcrusher** · 08-07-2005, 07:30 PM

Originally Posted by DarkFury

So basically you are saying fear and deception are the tools of getting what you want here...

But if that fails... at what point do you have to cut your losses and say "whatever"?

It really depends on how he views it. You can view it as only being out $200 the agreed selling price or as being out the replacement value of the laptop which would most likely be considerably more. (Think of what insurance does....buying the closest model that is equivalent or better or alternatively a similarly equipped refurb)

Then it gets really complicated.....you can look at it from a purely economical standpoint....recoup X dollars - cost of recouping = total recovery. If the total recovery is negative or only a few dollars it might not be worth the trouble. OR you can look at it as the principle. You dont let someone steal from you...so you go after them no matter what to recover whats yours.

This is where individual choice comes in.

**DarkFury** · 08-07-2005, 11:34 PM

Originally Posted by ufcrusher

It really depends on how he views it. You can view it as only being out $200 the agreed selling price or as being out the replacement value of the laptop which would most likely be considerably more. (Think of what insurance does....buying the closest model that is equivalent or better or alternatively a similarly equipped refurb)

Then it gets really complicated.....you can look at it from a purely economical standpoint....recoup X dollars - cost of recouping = total recovery. If the total recovery is negative or only a few dollars it might not be worth the trouble. OR you can look at it as the principle. You dont let someone steal from you...so you go after them no matter what to recover whats yours.

This is where individual choice comes in.

Principles cost too dayuum much... and we can't afford them.

**Grimm** · 08-08-2005, 12:59 AM

Originally Posted by JackHammer

Where do you live that you are paying $20 a gallon. I know prices are going up and up but $20 is outrageous.

The preceeding was a joke. It was only a joke. In the event of actual $20/gallon gas prices you will be notified by the presence of the following:

.

**ufcrusher** · 08-08-2005, 02:00 AM

Originally Posted by DarkFury

Principles cost too dayuum much... and we can't afford them.

Well, you can either hock your woman or your Hemi to pay for it.

Why is it that I can almost guarantee that you will be still driving the Hemi after the bill is due? Driving it to and from the restaurant...the dry cleaner...the day care provider.....

**revil** · 08-08-2005, 06:54 AM

Originally Posted by ufcrusher

Well, you can either hock your woman or your Hemi to pay for it.

woah there. the man can get a women anytime he wants. he's a pimp for petes sake. but whatever you do, don't talk like that about his hemi.

**Yossarian** · 08-08-2005, 07:01 AM

i'd have a few drinks then take a few friends and go pay a polite visit asking for my money

**DarkFury** · 08-08-2005, 08:47 AM

Originally Posted by ufcrusher

Well, you can either hock your woman or your Hemi to pay for it.

Why is it that I can almost guarantee that you will be still driving the Hemi after the bill is due? Driving it to and from the restaurant...the dry cleaner...the day care provider.....

Huh? What are you talkin' about here.....

My POV is that... if the cost of getting justice is more than the cost of what you lost, then pretty much it's not worth it. Why would I go into debt over a lost cause?

And honestly, I really don't get the "funny" on what you were saying in your second statement... I guess you lost me with your "legalspeak"

**Jenny** · 08-08-2005, 09:57 AM

roflmao He was making a joke. And I laughed. Meaning if you lose the woman (therefore saving you money), you'll still be driving the Hemi sure, but everywhere, including places the woman might have gone for you before.

Lighten up.

He's just kidding around. heh