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Thread: Soooo you wanna be a locksmith? Be prepared for anything.

  1. #1
    Vice Chairwoman, Joint Chieftess of Staff nickel's Avatar
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    Soooo you wanna be a locksmith? Be prepared for anything.

    Man’s testicles snared in a padlock for two weeks

    BRENTWOOD - The "family jewels" of one Brentwood man recently were locked up for two weeks - literally.
    On Saturday, July 30, at about 3:40 a.m., Brentwood police assisted ambulance and rescue personnel with a 39-year-old man with a padlock on his testicles.

    According to police, the man, who police are not identifying, was intoxicated when they arrived on scene.

    The man reported that the padlock had been on his testicles for two weeks. Cpl. H.D. Wood IV said the man reported that a friend put the lock on his testicles. He was allegedly severely intoxicated and passed out. He told police that when he woke up the padlock was placed around top his scrotum and his friend was gone.

    "Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Wood said.

    The man reported to police that he allegedly attempted to remove the padlock with a hacksaw after the key broke off inside the lock.

    He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith was called to remove the lock.

    The hospital reported that the man was treated and released without sustaining lasting injury.

    The Brentwood Fire Department would not comment on the incident, citing patient confidentiality.

    The motive for the incident is still undetermined, police said.

    "At this point we are not sure if it was a prank, or if it was an intentional act, or something done during a sexual act," Wood said.

    The incident is under investigation.
    http://www.seacoastonline.com/news/0...news/56211.htm

  2. #2
    Admiral Houdini's Avatar
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    Man’s testicles snared in a padlock for two weeks


    The man reported that the padlock had been on his testicles for two weeks. Cpl. H.D. Wood IV said the man reported that a friend put the lock on his testicles. He was allegedly severely intoxicated and passed out. He told police that when he woke up the padlock was placed around top his scrotum and his friend was gone.

    "Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Wood said.
    Cpl. H.D. Wood? That's just too easy...

  3. #3
    Vice Chairwoman, Joint Chieftess of Staff nickel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Houdini
    Cpl. H.D. Wood? That's just too easy...
    oh snap

  4. #4
    Rear Admiral Upper Half cadetevon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Houdini
    Cpl. H.D. Wood? That's just too easy...

    Man, good catch! I totally missed it. Though, in my own defense, I tend to skim.
    Yvonne
    Funny: My Next Wife.

  5. #5
    What's Da Pho*? bachviet's Avatar
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    He's just NUTS!
    Dell Dimension 9200 | Intel Core 2 Quad Q6600 (2.4GHz) | 4x1GB DDR2 | 256MB nVidia GeForce 8800GT

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  6. #6
    Rear Admiral Upper Half cadetevon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bachviet
    He's just NUTS!

    Haaaa! That was a three point shot for Bachviet! "He shoots! He scores!"
    Yvonne
    Funny: My Next Wife.

  7. #7
    Chief of Naval Operations brainsmile's Avatar
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    those drunks always go "balls out" with pranks
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  8. #8
    Secretary of Defense DarkFury's Avatar
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    Chalk another one up to the "nutcracker".


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  9. #9
    Hacksaw? Ouch .. I wouldn't have the balls ..

  10. #10
    Admiral RoniMan's Avatar
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    so what does this guy have in common with an insane asylum?

    they both lock away their nuts....

    /rimshot

  11. #11
    Rear Admiral Upper Half GraingerGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grafalgar
    Hacksaw? Ouch .. I wouldn't have the balls ..
    Neither would he if he slipped....
    potato gun + marshmallow gun = FLAMING MARSHMALLOWS OF DOOM!!!!!
    -Welfareloser
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    Time to switch to AMD now I guess... (just kidding... )
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  12. #12
    Optimus Prime Freelance Superhero's Avatar
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    oh man... if i had the time and the will, i'd tell you guys about this crazy woman i met last year who told the story about the one time she got her, um, labia pierced, put a padlock thru the piercing, lost the key, and eventually had to go to Home Depot and cut it off herself with a pair of bolt cutters.

    people do weird things to their bodies...
    "I can't believe you can eat that; it looks like abortion." - Augusta, of the Tard-Blog

  13. #13
    Rear Admiral Upper Half DankNstickY's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freelance Superhero
    oh man... if i had the time and the will...
    but... you just told us.

    heh
    -[ www.dankink.com ]-
    Quote Originally Posted by p3rsian
    I am sofa king we Todd Ed

  14. #14
    Optimus Prime Freelance Superhero's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DankNstickY
    but... you just told us.

    heh
    oh, the story's much more fun in whole.
    "I can't believe you can eat that; it looks like abortion." - Augusta, of the Tard-Blog

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