Coming soon: the mp3 breast implant

[nickel]

BT bod moots musical mams
By Lester Haines
Published Thursday 13th October 2005 10:46 GMT

Here's an appealing thought: an mp3 breast implant which will allow surgically-enhanced girls to store and play back their entire music collections from their 36DD assets.

We kid you not. According to UK tabloid the Sun - ever watchful for life-enhancing technology, especially when it's got a big jubs angle - BT Laboratories bod Ian Pearson reckons breast implants may as well do something useful if they're to be permanently installed, rather than just looking decorative.

Accordingly, he's proposed sticking an mp3 player in one dug, and a storage chip in the other. Quite how playback is achieved we're not quite sure*, but it may well involve the listener burying his or her head in the cleavage for a full stereo effect.

Likewise, God alone knows how you select tracks, but breasts do come equipped with a pleasing alternative to the iPod's selector wheel. We can imagine the scenario: Girlfriend: "Oi, what the bloody hell are you doing?" Boyfriend: "Hold on, I'm just scrolling down to Stairway to Heaven." ®

Bootnote
*Oh, OK then - Ian Pearson said "flexible plastic electronics would sit inside the breast. A signal would be relayed to headphones, while the device would be controlled by Bluetooth using a panel on the wrist". We prefer our solutions, naturally.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/10...reast_implant/

[WhiskeyPapa]

Wasn't that in the movie "The Stepford Wives"?

[BigJon]

"bury head in clevage to get full stereo effect"

[Mike_N_Ike]

[esme]

darn! .....there goes that idea!! ......

what's next? .......maybe they'll leave little pockets on the side ....for those nights when you go out and don't like to carry your purse

[angl2b]

lol.....

[Mommypooh]

Roflmfao

[Jihforce]

i wonder if its bluetooth enabled...hmmm it IS!!!

[Markel]

I think that there should be a list of pre-defined songs, such as:

"Here I am, stuck in the middle with you"

[cheapchinese]

great invention.....

they should make condom glow in the dark..so guys can light up.. dark places... wait, we already have that ... another great invention

[mcs328]

I wouldn't want to be the poor scmuck who decided to twist the dials and scroll though the playlist.

So would you honk one breast to power it on?

[DarkFury]

"bury head in clevage to get full stereo effect"

Bwaaa haa haa haa haa....


Good one!!! "Surround Sound" with "digital clarity" (i.e. you gotta use your hands... to get the "full effect" )

[Airencracken]

WTF? What a stupid idea.

Upgrading would be a BITCH.

[zippyjuan]

I get to twiddle the knobs next! I hate that song you are playing.l

[ArkiStan]

If you think about it, a nipple looks a lot like an iPod wheel.

[nickel]

If you think about it, a nipple looks a lot like an iPod wheel.

you are a genius

[Mommypooh]

I told my friend this and she laughed so hard she fell off of her chair with me on the phone then when she tried to get up she dropped the phone. I about died laughing.