I'm curious what the majority of people here would do in the following situation. You have a good friend from high school, who happens to be of the opposite sex, who you have (had) stayed friends with ever since graduation. The two of you would talk on the phone, exchange emails, and see each other as your schedules allowed but for the most part the most time without contact was four months. Even after you move cross country you stay in close contact with this person and manage to see each other every so often.
When it comes time for your wedding, the friend tells you that she is unsure if she can come due to money...and then later on several emergencies develop which lock in her inability to attend. As you really wanted her to be there, you had even offered to pay for her entire trip since you were financially able to help without batting an eye. However, she turned down the offer, which was the expected response. Additionally, you and several other mutual friends all believe that her non-attendance was solely to avoid seeing a particular person whom with she had a bad history.
Given the fact that it was always possible that her excuses were valid and you arent going to hold someones financial inability to attend something against them, I didnt allow this fact to effect the friendship. We continued talking with each other/exchanging emails at a regular clip.
In August 2004, I was back home for a family wedding and alerted my friend to this fact well before we arrived so that we could see each other. Prior to our arrival, my friend was all excited to see each other and claimed to be looking forward to it. The first time we talked while I was home, we made plans which she cancelled claiming that it was too late for her (9:00pm). The second time we made plans, she told me to call her back (11am)...which I did (11:10am) and I NEVER heard from her again, not only on that trip but since that time. FYI, She knew when we were leaving town but never bothered to even try to reach me/return the call in the remaining 4 days we were there.
As expected, I was more than a bit annoyed by this slight and decided that I would not contact her, but rather wait until she contacted me. Sort of childish, but at the same time...if she didnt want to maintain our friendship why should I bother. With one exception where I sent out a mass email telling our group of friends about an upcoming reunion, I havent had any contact with her. The only reason I include that email as a contact was that she sent me (personally) a response to that email which consisted of all of 1 line!
Now that over a year has passed without any communication, I started to wonder what could have caused this sudden change in our relationship. Part of me says that I should send her an email reaching out as there might be something that I dont know about that happened. The other part of me says, I did everything I could ...why bother? Several people have hypothesized that since the change came only after I was married, that might be the root of the problem.
This begs the question...would you send one last ditch email to try to fix whatever was broken? Or would you just write it off as one of those things that happens over time?
FWIW....We were friends for over a decade before this happened....and its partly that history which makes me feel bad about doing nothing. For some reason I can just see her having completely forgotten that she never called me back/ditched out on our plans and thinks I am the one who has cut off our friendship.